Addictive disorders are serious mental health conditions. They affect not just the health and well-being of an individual, but impact the lives of those around them, too. If someone in your social circle or family struggles with an addiction, you might want to know that there are things you can do to support them through their struggles. This article will provide several tips on how you can best help someone dealing with an addiction problem.
Finding out About a Loved One’s Addiction Problem – Key Things to Know
Discovering the news about a loved one’s addiction problem can be highly distressing and upsetting. Many people who find themselves in this situation experience an intense emotional rollercoaster, where they go from initial shock, to anger, sadness, disappointment, and panic. They might ask themselves – what have I done wrong for this person to resort to this addiction? They can also deal with strong feelings of guilt or might feel betrayed by the other person.
Experiencing overwhelming emotions when first encountering this news is perfectly normal. Many people find that they are unprepared to receive this sort of information about their loved ones, even if there were signs and cues that reveal a potential addiction problem. Although you might experience intense distress when coming across this type of news, it is important to keep in mind some things that can worsen your relationship with the addicted person.
Don’t’s:
- Show anger and resentment towards the addicted person
- Blame them for their problem
- Threaten them
- Use verbally aggressive words or say things that can upset your loved one
- Yell, raise your voice, or become defensive
- Ask the addicted individual for explanations if they are not prepare them to provide those
- Force them into seeking support if they are not ready for it
- Offend, victimise, or ridiculise them
Do’s:
- Take some time away for yourself to process the news and regulate your emotions
- Only approach the addicted person when you feel calm and able to control your emotions
- Speak in a compassionate voice and empathetic tone
- Show kindness and reassure the person of your unconditional support
- Be ready to actively listen if they feel comfortable to share details about their problem
- Keep the information they offer confidential, except for critical situations when their life might be in danger
- Show a friendly and non-judgemental attitude and open body language
Getting Informed
Addictions carry a heavy social stigma. As a result of this, many people do not take their time to educate themselves about the implication of an addiction disorder. It is easy to mistakenly assume that addictions are just the result of poor moral compass, character flaws or low intelligence. However, this mental health condition is very complex and difficult to treat. Hence it is important to understand the causes that increase the risk for developing an addiction disorder.
You can educate yourself on addictions by seeking reliable information sources on the following questions:
- What are the risk factors (genetic, social, psychological) that make a person more vulnerable to developing an addiction?
- What is the link between underlying mental health conditions and addiction disorders?
- What are the dangers and risks associated with addiction?
- How is it best to communicate with someone who struggles with addictive behaviors?
Learning about the causes, risk factors, and dangers associated with this condition can help you better relate to your loved one. Finding out that addiction is not always a conscious choice can also make you more understanding and compassionate towards the addicted person. Overall, the more you know about this addiction, the more confident and prepared you are likely to feel in your interactions with the addicted individual.
Getting Help and Support for Yourself
It is perfectly okay if finding out that someone close to you struggles with an addiction makes you distressed. If you haven’t previously encountered a similar situation, you can feel overwhelmed. You might also wonder what the best course of action is.
As a result, your ability to provide support for the addicted individual can be significantly diminished. If your mental health suffers as a result of the news, you are less likely to remain compassionate and understanding towards your addicted loved one.
This is why it is crucial to recognise the situation when you need to seek support for yourself. Getting in touch with a mental health professional, therapist, or counsellor can help you process your difficult emotions and thoughts. Remember that you should not feel guilty for looking after your own mental well-being – helping yourself in times of crisis is essential for being able to provide support to others.
If you are unsure about the type of support that is most suitable for you, talk to your general practitioner. They might be able to direct you towards the type of interventions that you need during these critical times. Other types of support can also be available in terms of your social connections. Ensuring that you stay connected to other people can also make a positive contribution to your health and mental well-being.
Establishing Trust and Safety
When interacting with your loved one who struggles with an addiction, it is highly important to create a space of trust, safety, and support. Many addicted individuals refrain from seeking support or opening up to others due to the fear of being judged and criticised. If your approach feels unsafe to them, they might retreat even further and avoid contact with you.
The overwhelming emotions someone with an addiction might be dealing with, their mood swings and internal struggles can make it difficult for them to socialise appropriately. This is why it is important for you to offer your loved one unconditional acceptance and to show that you are there only to listen. Try to refrain from offering unsolicited advice or from attempting to find solutions and fixes to their problem.
Many addicted individuals already know they have to make positive changes in their life. However, when these are forced onto them, they might feel constrained or pressured. This is why it is best to establish safety and trust instead of trying to offer advice and solutions.
When your loved one feels that they can trust you and confide in you, they might be the ones coming to you for help and support. The first stage, therefore, is letting them know that you are someone they can trust unconditionally.
Setting Realistic Expectations
Although someone who struggles with an addiction disorder can initially be enthusiastic about engaging in recovery, try not to project your high expectations on them. Breaking long-term addiction habits is never a linear road. Many people slip back into relapse and then find the motivation to recover again.
Therefore, it is important to communicate to your loved one that you do not have any expectations from their recovery process. Reassure them of your unconditional support and let them know that you are there to listen to them. Some addicted individuals already feel that they have to demonstrate new behaviors to others – however, this can place great pressure on them, which leads to more stress.
When someone in recovery becomes more stressed, their capacity for emotional regulation worsens, making them even more vulnerable for relapse. Therefore, it is best to assure someone who is committed to recover that they can do so in their own time and at their own unique pace.
Quitting bad habits is difficult even for someone who does not suffer from an addiction disorder. Therefore, you can imagine how challenging change must be for someone who has lived with an addiction for a longer period of time. Try not to have any expectations in this regard and only be available to offer support and understanding.
Reaching out for Specialist Treatment and Support
If your loved one who struggles with addiction is open to seeking professional support, make sure that you do your best to find the most appropriate intervention plans. Addiction is a complex mental health condition that is difficult to treat by individual means. Having the right professional support is essential in addressing all the aspects of this issue.
There are numerous intervention alternatives that someone struggling with addiction can benefit from. Psychotherapy interventions such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help individuals implement new behaviors by understanding the relationship between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. For those dealing with a substance abuse problem, support is available in rehabilitation centres. These provide detoxification programs that help addicts deal with the physical effects of their addiction.
Rehabilitation programs offer both in-patient and outpatient alternatives, depending on the severity of someone’s addiction. Individuals can also choose to attend those programs on a certain day when their schedule allows them to do so.
Regardless of the type of professional support someone might need, it is important for those struggling with addiction to have resources they can rely on. Besides professional support, it is important for friends and family members to provide assistance during their loved one’s recovery process.
Conclusion
If someone in your family or social circle struggles with an addiction problem, there are things that you can do to help them. However, before trying to offer support and assistance, it is important to ensure that you have sufficient resources to provide by looking after your own mental health.
You can support a loved one during their addiction recovery process by offering unconditional acceptance and by maintaining a non-judgemental attitude. It is also important not to force recovery onto someone dealing with an addiction. You can only direct them towards appropriate professional resources when they decide to commit to recovery by themselves. Once the addicted individual makes a decision to break their habits, you can offer to help them find the most appropriate interventions and treatment plans for them.
